In lieu of today's class cancellation, I want everyone to post their HW for 3/14 below as a reply.
Then, by Friday 3/16, you all are required to evaluate and again reply (in 200 words or less) to at least one group member's HW post. Additional replies (and you may each offer up to two more) will be counted as extra credit. Therefore, active engagement with your fellows' thesis statements and paper outlines is highly encouraged.
Remember that when submitting your revision of Paper #1, the original marked-up draft must be included with the revised copy in order for any credit to be given for the assignment. Please staple the draft beneath the revision. Also remember to bring three copies of Paper #2 to class on Monday.
Please email me with any specific questions and concerns you may have regarding Paper #2 and the revision of Paper #1, both due Monday 3/19.
s.
3/14/2012
ReplyDeleteIbrahim zbib
Professor. Damato
Writ 303
OUTLINE
Introduction:
Resistance, and occupation, two words with meaning that goes deep into the roots of the existance of humanity. History has shown us that if there is an oppressor who occupies others rights, freedom, space, and life, there will always be one who resists. Sometimes however occupation could mean resistance. In the present day a uprising occurred that had much significance to people all over the United States, this uprising was a resistance that consisted in occupation. Wall St Manhattan NY was occupied by a large number of people in 2011, these people represented the 99% of people living in the U.S. who saw themselves as oppressed by the 1% who where working very little and gaining an income that was greater than many Americans combined. People believed they should fight for this and we see where this is derrived from through readings such as “This changes everything occuppy Wall St and the 99% movement” edited by Sarah van Gelder and the staff of YES! Magazine. And another readings such as “Students and Unions” one would be able to see the purpose of this struggle and who are the people involved. Though many might see resistance having violent ways there are historical leaders through out the world who preeched resistance to their opressors in non-violent but efficeint ways. “Through reading the Creed of non-violence” “The Penguin Ghandi Reader” edited by Rudrangshu Mukherjee one might notice why the occupiers of Wall st use non-violence in their struggle to make changes in what they see is wrong. But the occupation isnt perfect it has some serious flaws that could prevent it from even making the simpliest of differences.
Paragraph 1: I will use my evidence from “This changes everything” with support from “The Penguin Ghandi Reader”
A. I will speak about how the occupiers spread their message and what methods they used
B. I will speak about the obstacles they faced and how they were restricted from going all out and pushing theyre resistance to the max level because of the set of rules that where set upon them and if they broken how it would defeat the purpose of the resistance in the eyes of the media.
C. I will use support from “The Penguin Ghandi Reader” to show how OWS does have a chance at suceeding because of how ghandi suceeded in different ways of practicing non violence
Pragraph 2: my main source for this paraghraph will be “the general assembly”
A. first part of this paraghraph will speak about what tactics the occupiers used to rise above any differences between themselves such as race, cultural, or points of views basically this part will explain their strategies to show that their differences arent weaknesses.
B. The second part of this paragraph will speak about their weaknesses and what they do wrong that may be essentially self destructive to the whole movement.
C. Through Ghandis readings I will show what they should have done in order to be succesful I will relate Ghandi’s resistance to OWS and state what they could change in order to fix the internal issues of the resistance
Conclusion: I will sum up my ideas of the whole paper then ending the paper with specific things the resistance could do to possibly have a higher success rate.
Great first sentence. Very interesting, Tighten up introduction a little.
Delete"People believed they should fight for this and we see where this is derrived from through readings such as “This changes everything occuppy Wall St and the 99% movement” edited by Sarah van Gelder and the staff of YES! Magazine." - careful with the word "we".
√ on introduction
√ + on organization
√+ on evidence
Like the introduction and the way your essay is organized. I thought the intro was a little long but you got your point out and that is what matters.good use of the text for support.
DeleteVery good organization but i don't really understand how occupation can also mean resistance. Maybe you should explain that more.
DeleteSandy Rose
ReplyDeleteWRIT 303
Prof. Addis D’Amato
[The Media Being Prejudice]
March 14, 2012
Outline
I. Introduction
1. When one thinks of the social media, there are mixed emotions about the sole purpose of how we interpret what we see, hear or read. The social media can be responsible for how one might think, act, and response to things that affect their everyday life. The media is usually seen as a place for entertainment as well as information source yet at the same time can persuade person’s emotions or thoughts on a particular subject. Based on authors Stephen Duncombe, Naomi Klein and the Writers of the 99%, the social media has its own analysis on how protesting is usually carried on. Both Duncombe and Klein explained that the media usually perceived protesting as disobedience act leading into violence. While the Writers For the 99% showed how even before the protesting began, the media was prepared to put things into their own words. The media is accountable for many of our prejudice thoughts that surround events affecting our lives.
II. Body
1. Media alter individual judgments in situations
A. People often believe in the stereotypes created by the media
B. Stereotypes are portrayed as facts without evidence
C. Media influence the public beliefs
2. The media has left a negative impact on world events throughout history
A. Occupy Wall Street protestor Naomi Klein explained how the media would react to this movement
B. Evidence of media role of their criticism
3. Protest groups should act the complete opposite of what is expected
A. The media craves for stories so protesting groups should not fall to the media’s statistics
B. Groups should control their demeanor
4. From the beginning the media was able to put the situation as lightly as possible
A. The Writers for the 99% was able to describe how the media favored the police efforts to not let the protest get violent before anything happen
5. Ducombe non violent demonstration in NYC streets was not a traditional protest.
A. Ducombe created a different approach to illustrate protest
B. Rose above the traditional stereotype
C. Changing the media’s traditional view toward societies
6. Ducombe interpretation how the media shape his life
A. Media served as a source of information
B. The fact that the media influence people is often overlooked
III. Conclusion
1. The media can be a source of information just as long as it doesn’t not influence others personal views on similar events, emotions or just general thoughts. The media is responsible one way or the other and should be accountable for persuasive role it has on the public.
Nice introduction and i like the way its organized. good use of the text. i also liked your conclusion but you had a grammatical problem with the word doesn't and not. erase not or the n't.
DeleteYour introduction is awesome. it is very nice. i'm guessing that your thesis is the last sentence of your intro, but its not totally clear. like is the media's perception of things always negative? you have pretty good organization.
DeleteIt sounds like its going to be a very inetersting paper. The introduction and the outline itself sounds pretty precise, focused, and very informative. Good luck. :)
DeleteBita Adabi
ReplyDeleteWRIT 303
Prof. Addis D’Amato
Outline of Movements without Leaders
March 14, 2012
I. Introduction:
A. Thesis: Through the use of the books Occupying Wall Street and This Changes Everything: Occupy Wall Street and the 99% Movement, it will be evident that having a lack of hierarchical leadership in Occupy Wall Street is beneficial and to the movement’s advantage.
II. Body I:
A. History and origination of Occupy Wall Street (OWS)
B. Use of the book Occupying Wall Street written by the Writers of the 99%
C. Horizontalism, its definition, and importance in OWS
III. Body II:
A. Atypical methods of OWS
B. Examples of sign language will be used from the book This Changes Everything: Occupy Wall Street and the 99% Movement
IV. Body III:
A. Bring together Body I’s idea with the idea shared in secondary source Christopher Hill’s text “Levellers and True Levellers,” from The World Turned Upside Down
B. Bring together Body II’s idea with the idea shared in secondary source Christopher Hill’s text “Levellers and True Levellers,” from The World Turned Upside Down
V. Conclusion:
Confirm with evidence and detailed found in my three sources, that the lack of hierarchy that OWS has is extremely beneficial to the movement.
Good thesis: straight to the point and interesting.
Delete√ on thesis
√+ on organization
√+ evidence
+ thesis
Delete+ organization
+ evidence
->I liked the way you started of with the history of OWS. As well as how you tied in your secondary sources in a different body paragraph that including each body paragraph it corresponded to.
I think you have a strong thesis just make sure use the 3 text to show support and this outline is well organized.
Deletei like the thesis. Very specific
Deletei am doing something similar, so it was interesting to see your take on it
I am sure you have good quotes and information from the two primary sources
I think your introduction well thought through as well as your conclusion. you should add more quotes and you should be good
DeleteCathryn Haynes
ReplyDeleteWriting 303
Prof. D’Amato
03 – 14 – 12
Outline
I. Introduction
A. Thesis: Media has made a major contribution in informing people all over the world on Occupy Wall Street Movement using the news, newspaper, and the internet.
II. News (This changes everything pg. 46)
III. Newspaper (Occupy wall street pg.10)
IV. Internet
A. Facebook and Twitter (occupying wall street pgs 5 and 8)
B. Blogs
V. Conclusion.
good thesis just make sure you show as much proof and evidence from the text stating how it was made a major contribution all over the world and need a secondary source.
Delete+Good thesis
Delete+organized
->it looks like your going on the right path,just make sure you use a secondary source.
Hey cathy!! I think your at a great start. You've created a nice outline. I think you could do a little better on your thesis, just a little. On the writer's refernce book, it teaches us about how to create a really good thesis, check that out. Besides that I can see your creating a pretty good paper. Good Luck
DeleteMoises Arias
ReplyDelete3/13/12
Writing 303
Thesis: Why is a leader not a true necessity in social movements?
I) Introduction
A) Leaders in past movements vs. the non-existent leadership in Wall st.
II) Cons and some pros of Leaders in past movements in history
A) Hitler and The Holocaust
B) Martin Luther King and the Civil Rights Movement
III) Non-existent Leadership in Occupied wall st.
A) Writers for the 99%
1) Alternative Methods of Leadership
a) Means of Technology
B) This changes everything: Occupy Wall Street and the 99% Movement
1) Alternative Methods to Leaderships
a) The GA
b) Open Mic
IV) Conclusion
thesis should be more of a statement not really a question in my opinion. talk to the professor and make sure hes okay with your thesis but try and prove it using all three of the text you chose. an example of your thesis in a statment form would be "Leaders are not a true necessity in social movements."
DeleteHey Moises!! According to the Writers Reference, asking a question is a great way in trying to figure out what exactly you would like to talk about within your paper. Check it out whenever you get the chance. It would help you develop a very ineteresting thesis. Good LUck.
DeleteYour thesis being a question for an argumentative sounds good to me! Nice going Moi.
Deleteyour thesis need a little more work. you should consider only using one example instead of so many and make the connection to how OWS are lacking in that area. but good work & good LUCK!!
Deletelove the thesis, straight forward and no fluff, cant wait to see how you answer this question
DeleteMelanie Raghunath
ReplyDeleteEnglish 303
Prof. Addis D’Amato
03/14/21012
Topic: Nonviolence, Proud Supporter Of Occupy Wall Street
Thesis: The practice of nonviolence was a main aspect in the Occupy Wall Street movement. Authors Nathan Schneider and Naomi Klein exhibits the use of nonviolence throughout the process of Occupy Wall Street.
I. Schneider elaborated on the two main march guidelines of the Occupy Wall Street movement.
a. The relevant points of the march guidelines were “Don’t instigate physical violence with cops and pedestrians. We respect diversity of tactics, but consider how our actions may affect the entire group” (39).
i. Guideline one simple meant to avoid physical violence because there are other ways to state opinions.
ii. Guidelines two is solely based on how one mistake and act of violence can destroy the image of the group as a whole whether it was intentionally done or not.
iii. These guidelines help support and encourage these members of Occupy Wall Street by giving them a bare recognition that violence will only destroy the image of the movement.
II. Klein praised the members of Occupy Wall Street for their strong devotion to non-violence.
a. Klein quoted “Something this movement is doing right: You have committed yourselves to nonviolence” (46).
i. Nonviolence is a way of showing self-control and not giving into temptation.
ii. To show self-control proves that an individual is capable to follow through with their opinion and be on a civil mature standard about it.
iii. To demonstrate nonviolence is one of the greatest weapons a movement can have because it is not illustrating a negative image to the public.
III. Schneider and Klein work on nonviolence recognizes a famous leader that supported the practice of nonviolence, he is known as Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi.
a. Gandhi was known for his strong leadership in nonviolence. His past teachings on how to use nonviolence was indirectly recognized by both Schneider and Klein.
i. Schneider stated “This language, again, might seem like a way of saying that individual protestors are free to use violence, especially in self defense. But in practice the occupiers have kept nonviolent discipline quite well”(39-40). This quotes goes back in time when individuals in India had the chance to choose violence over nonviolence to fix problems with the British but they choose the path of nonviolence. Also enabling Gandhi’s method of fighting for Self-defense purposes only.
1. Gandhi stated, “ I do believe that where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence I would advice violence” (98). Indicates that having some type of action is better than having none at all.
ii. Klein stated, “ You have refused to give the media the images of broken windows and street fights it craves so desperately” (46-47). Give the image of self-control and self-respect by doing the opposite of how the public wishes to see the movement.
iii. The use of nonviolence helped gain support from the public based on the media broadcasting the protestors being abused by the police force. Such sight bought upon sympathy towards the movement, which lead to the growth within the movement.
IV. Nonviolence is a different route for one to obtain results for certain issues without causing negative attention upon themselves. The use of nonviolence helped supporter of the Occupy Wall Street movement to gain support and sympathy from the public instead of being judged as so called rebels without a purpose. Occupy Wall Street is one of the recent movements to demonstrate that history constantly has an impact on todays lives. The use of nonviolence was highly publicized by Gandhi and today it is recognized from the Occupy Wall Street movement.
√+ on thesis
Delete√+ on organization
√+ evidence
Okay thesis you could make it a little stronger by saying what non violence does or how it affects society, but good outline its well organized just make sure you use all 3 text for support on proving your thesis.
DeleteI really like your take on nonviolence and how it has a great impact to the OWS movement. Your evidence, especially Gandhi, supports your ideas which is a plus. Also how you relate nonviolence to the media is crucial to your argument because it shows that the movement is trying to prevent a negative image to be linked to their cause.
DeleteKathy Lazo
ReplyDeleteWRIT 303
3/14/2012
1.Introduction
Thesis-Social media plays an essential role in Occupy Wall Street through communication, organization and letting the public be informed.
A.Communication
(1)Facebook and Twitter (Occupying wall street)
(2)Blogs (Occupying wall street)
-pg 35 (This changes everything)
(3)Websites (Occupying Wall Street)
B.Organization
(1)Smartphones (Occupying Wall Street)
(2)"undiscovered map" (Occupying Wall Street)
C.Public Informed
(1)News- able to see the movement being taken globally (Occupying Wall street)
-People who stood up to voice or act on their opinion
-misinformed data (occupying wall street) and (this changes everything)
(2)Magazines- NYABC article "adbusters" (occupying wall street)
(3)New York Times (occupying wall street)
(4)pg 41 and 46 (this changes everything)
D. (pg 114) Hakim Bey from TAZ
2.Conclusion
3.Reference(alphabetically)
√+ on thesis
Delete√+ on organization
√+ evidence
Good thesis. make sure you use the 3 text for support. well organized.
DeleteThesis and evidence is good. You pin-pointed everything making info clear too. Just don't make your secondary source seem too small.
DeleteI. Intro Thesis
ReplyDeleteEveryone everywhere is now connected through the internet. People are now sharing experiences and emotions through social networks and interacting with people around the world. Social media such as Facebook and twitter assists the public by connecting them with friends, family, coworkers and fellow peers, but what these social media sites did not know were that people would be able to use these medias to create a revolution. Groups of people everywhere have used social media to raise awareness to social problems that before would have gone unnoticed. In this new age social media has become the forefront in developing cultural change and was the main weapon with the protestors on Occupay Wall Street. Two written materials describe how these online tools helped form with great protest: Writers for The 99% and This Changes Everything depict how social media helped Occupy Wall Street reach new heights.
II. Using Social Media for planning
• Writers for 99%
• This changes Everything
• Secondary source (in progess)
III. Using social Media to spread the word
• Writers for 99%
• This changes Everything
• Secondary source (in progess)
IV. Using Social Media instead of Mass Media
• Writers for 99%
• This changes Everything
• Secondary source (in progess)
V. Conclusion
Great introduction. Social media not only helped the OWS movement but it also helped the Arab Spring, the revolution in Latin America, and many other movements as well. The media is actually a great stepping stone for protesters to get their ideas put out there, and as you said it's a great "tool" being utilized by many.
DeleteI also liked your introduction. You spoke about social media very well. You gave a lot of details about social media. your paper should turn out very well.
Deletewow your entire thesis is just straight-forward and to the point. Very true in regards to social media.
DeleteSheri-Ann Sebro
ReplyDeleteThesis: Precedent of OWS and is it possible?
I. Intro
II. Occupiers wanted a true democracy (Gelder)
A. They made decisions by consensus
B. Principles of solidarity
III. Inclusive society/ horizontalism (The General Assembly)
A. GA/Facilittors
B. Hand Gestures
IV. Is a true democracy possible? ( Marx & Engels)
A. The ruling class possess ideas
B. Before we demand a true democracy, we need to change the basis of how laws are made
C. Need to change the division of labor
V. Conclusion
Thesis statement- It has been said that one must lead by example, so is the mantra of the occupy Wall Street movement.
ReplyDelete• It has been said that one must lead by example, so is the mantra of the occupy Wall Street movement.
o Decentralization of authority
o Practices in general assembly
o Diversity of tactics
o OWS is similar to society as it is now
• Decentralization of authority
o No one clear leader
o Experienced paired with inexperienced
o Different committees
• Practices in general assembly
o Truly democratic process
o Enlightens the population
o Vetoing
o Progressive stack
o Step up step back
• Diversity of tactics
o Nonviolence
o Affinity groups
Maintain individuality
o Diversity of tactics governed by respect for the group
this is Danny Rhee by the way
DeleteInteresting thesis statement. I like your take on decentralization and the lack of hierarchy in the OWS movement. I also like your different paragraph topics which relate back to your main thesis statement of your paper.
DeleteMarissa McGlashan
ReplyDeleteEnglish 303
Prof. Addis D’Amato
03/14/21012
Thesis statement- According to Occupying Wall Street, writers for the 99% and This Changes Everything: Occupy Wall Street and the 99% Movement, social media plays a huge role in Occupy Wall Street. However military and police force contributes to what is released in the press. Social media and the police both affect Occupy Wall Street and how it is perceived by society.
A. Errors in media reports (outside source)
1. How information is collected for news reports, blogs, etc.
2. How the media decides topics to focus on in a particular event.
3. How do the police and military obstruct freedom of the press.
4. Misinformed society draw incomplete conclusions.
B. This Changes Everything: Occupy Wall Street and the 99% Movement
1. What is the Declaration of the Occupation of New York City and how was it created.
2. Declaration of the Occupation of New York City- “they have used the military and police force to prevent freedom of the press.
3. Expected actions of NYPD by OWS participants (p 40-41)- How police actions can be used as an advantage by OWS in the media.
4. How is OWS unorganized nature means for holding media attention. (p 46)
C. Occupying Wall Street, writers for the 99%
1. Police actions led to the suicide of Mohammed Bouazizi. The way this story spread supports that news travel quickly through the use of social networking sites which leads to media coverage. (p 5)
2. The role of technology in OWS (p 8)
3. Blog posts and misinformed reports. (p10)
4. Society and filtering out invalid sources.
D. Conclusion
Occupying Wall Street, writers for the 99%, This Changes Everything: Occupy Wall Street and the 99% Movement and (outside source) all argue that the media plays a role on OWS and that police involvement affects what is portrayed by the media.
How does all three tie together
E. References
√+ introduction
Delete√ organization
√+ evidence
Everything sounds pretty good cause its clear and you seem to have a lot of information already just by reading your outline, just be careful in going off key.
1. Your thesis statement is very clear. The part of the millitary and police contributing to what the press is saying, be careful with that, try to focus more on the effect that social media had on the whole movemnet.
Delete2. Your organization looks pretty straight forward.
3. The evidence your going to use looks good.
4. Dont use an outside source, use the other readers gicen out by the professor.
Kenny Zorrilla
ReplyDeleteI. Thesis Statement- Social Media has had a tremendous impact on informing everyone about Occupy Wall Street. It helped expand the message before the movement even began. In Writers of the 99%, the media had already begun putting the word out and had already put things in their own words. It has the power to brainwash people in to thinking one way. Everyone nowadays uses social networks to interact. With Social Media such as face book and twitter people are aware of everything that’s happing or developing. Writers for The 99% and This Changes Everything showed that Social Media played a huge role in Occupy Wall Street.
II. Spread The Word
• Using Social Media for planning (Writers for 99%, This Changes Everything)
• Using Social Media to spread the word (Writers for 99%, This Changes Everything)
III. Social Media Access
• Face book and Twitter (This Changes Everything)
• Blogging (This Changes Everything)
• Smart phones (Writers for the 99%)
• Magazines (Writers for the 99%)
• News (Writers for the 99%)
IV. Media Effects
• The Media affects how people should view things.
• Duncombe and how social media changed him
V. Conclusion
• Social Media will always have a say in the world we live in. They contribute to how people view things. It’s up to the people not to listen to everything that’s said and to dig deeper instead of letting social media dictate how they should view
Karen Joaquin
ReplyDeleteWrit 303
Prof. D'Amato
Essay 2 Outline
I. Introduction
a.) Thesis Statement: New forms of media has opened up peoples eyes leaving them both more knowledgeable as well as more mentally frustrated, with so much information.
II. Media has extended in power by the use of social media, blogging and online videos. People who don't have a preference for reading it can just watch it at any time they want or vice versa.
a.) Readings writers for the 99%
b.) This Changes Everything
c.) Tidal: Occupy Theory
III. How Media opens up our eyes more to the world.
a.) Writers for the 99% ; groups formed, facilitators playing ignorant
b.) This Changes Everything ; protesters outreach goal for real democracy
c.) Tidal: Occupy Theory; increasing number of protesters nationwide and their impact on others as they watch through media.
IV. How media has left people mentally frustrated as well
a.) Writers for the 99% ; impact of media on the mind
b.) This Changes Everything ; how the last decades belonged to Wall Street (e.g. police/ military oppression of media)
c.) Tidal: Occupy Theory; views on the new movement
V. The correlation between the the readings.
VI. Conclusion
...
Bibliography
+thesis
Delete+organized
+evidence
->The way you used your evidence on each paragraph was clever.
suggestion: may want to rephrase your thesis. its good, just switch some words around.
Your organization is great and your thesis statement is pretty good. It is true in regards to media and how it plays a major role in society.
DeleteStephanie Pierre-Jerome
ReplyDeleteWriters for the 99%
· Why people was protesting
· The point they were trying to prove
· The Wisconsin Budget Repair Bill
· Who influenced the people who participated in the OWS
· Welfare cut/employment
This changes everything. Chapter 5
· The declaration of the Occupation of NY
· How it affected people
· Write what phrase meant and why it can be taken offensive
· What language had to be changed
Tidal
· What are the demands
· Understand the demands
· Have demands satisfied
√- on thesis
Delete√ on organization
√+ evidence
Im not sure what is your thesis. your evidence shows you have read the articles, but you need to organize the paper with body paragraphs which will support your thesis.
+evidence -used three sources-good
Delete+organization-good
Looks like your on the right path. Was unclear with your thesis. Does your thesis involve how and why OWS started?
Harddy Ceballos
ReplyDeleteWriting 303
Professor Addis D’Amato
3/14/12
Introduction
Thesis- The Non-violent approach sends out a good message.
2 primary documents- Writers for the 99, Map – Beginnings and Gelder, ed - Chapters 8
1 Secondary document- Ghandi
A. How Non-violence plays a role in writers for the 99, Gelder, and Ghandi.
B. The difference being made through the act of non-violence.
C. The reason why non-violence sends out a better message than violence does.
Body 1 - How Non-violence plays a role in Beginnings
Body 2 - How Non-violence plays a role in chapter 8
Body 3 - How Non-violence plays a role in ghandi
Body 4 - The difference being made through the act of non-violence in Beginnings
Body 5 - The difference being made through the act of non-violence in Gelder
Body 6 - The difference being made through the act of non-violence in Ghandi
Body 7 - The reason why non-violence sends out a better message than violence does according to Beginnings.
Body 8 - The reason why non-violence sends out a better message than violence does according to Gelder.
Body 9 - The reason why non-violence sends out a better message than violence does according to Ghandi.
Conclusion – Restate thesis and summary of all topics.
hey
Deletemaybe being a little more specific with your thesis statement would be helpful in your paper
there is a lot of information about how non violence is a good tactic
be sure to mention how they use the diversity of tactics
I. Introduction
ReplyDeleteThesis Statement: Collective Decision Makings in Historical Movements.
II. Body1: Using the OWS articles to support my thesis.
a) Lack of Hierarchy in the OWS movement.
b) Introduction to GA, their procedures of running the meetings.
c) Usage of hand gestures in GA meetings, which shows the protesters collective decisions in this protest.
III. Body 2: Using Hill’s reading to support my thesis.
a) Diggers working in Sunday shows a join decision taken by them, to overthrow social injustices.
b) The Diggers demanding back the confiscated land from the church, and crown. Also shows their mutual decision making process in making of history.
IV. Conclusion
Very interesting topic choice. Expand on thesis a little more.
ReplyDelete√- on thesis
√+ on structure
√+ on evidence.
Luis Salcedo
ReplyDeleteWRIT 303
Prof. Addis D’Amato
Paper #2
3/13/12
Thesis:
For quite some time now, the Occupy Wall Street movement has been stirring up a great deal of news. From its conception in 2011, it was criticized for many of the practices which it held and harshly looked at because of the “lack of organization” which it demonstrated. It is this quality that many have come to believe, as demonstrated in “Writers for the 99%” and “This Changes Everything: Occupy Wall Street and the 99% Movement”, that has made this protest successful.
Main points:
· In both readings, writers of the separate articles can be quoted attributing the movement’s early success to their lack of organization.
· The main differences from many different protests seem to have had a lasting effect on people and brought publicity to this movement.
· The protesters’ decision making process makes the movement appealing to people who believe that the government should be run in such a way.
Extremely clear and organized
ReplyDelete